Updated: Mar 23, 2020

Question: are you having a hard time believing this is actually happening? I mean, of course we know; how could you not know? But every once in a while, there’s this moment, and for me it happens during the 2nd cocktail of cocktail hour which has suddenly become an urgent part of every day like never before, when I’m staring at the TV and listening to how the number of cases is exploding and health care workers are begging for “PPE” and Trump, who promised there are “millions” of masks is exposed for the liar he is (but how can you really know unless you tried to get a mask or a test) and having this weird disconnect, like “Maybe I’m just home, watching TV on my sofa, and I’m about to wake up and tell someone I just had this really weird dream about the end of the world and we were all holed up in our homes and everything was closed and people were panic-buying toilet paper…” and whoever I was talking to about it would laugh and say, “Wow, what a weird dream.”

But before cocktails, merely an hour ago, my daughter shared a Facebook post from her pediatrician who talked to a man from Italy whose mother just died and although she was 78, she was perfectly healthy and strong and now she’s dead and she cried with him and asked him what he wanted to say to her audience and he said this: “" THIS IS NOT A FUCKING JOKE. This is VERY real and this is VERY deadly and we CANNOT FUCK THIS UP. We have one chance not to make the mistakes that people in Italy made. Everyone needs to STAY HOME. Work can wait. Errands can wait. Only leave home if you absolutely must. This is not just the flu. This is life and death, and if we continue the way we are acting, we will be living the same nightmare that Italy is living. Do you want military trucks transporting dead bodies out of your town??"

And then I read a post about the number of flu deaths in a season compared to Covid-19 deaths and Covid isn’t even close and then I have no idea how to feel.

Hanging in. For now.